How to Hack Your Breakup Using the Principles of Energy Healing
This past October, I was in New York City for the most cliche reason possible: to find love. A few months earlier, I’d met someone while visiting the city. He was handsome, smart and quietly confident in a way that was irresistibly sexy. I was smitten. We stayed in touch over the summer and when fall rolled around, I made plans to visit him.
When I arrived in New York, I quickly realized that things wouldn’t work out between us. Emotionally raw and alone in a new city, I didn’t know how to process everything I was feeling. Cue: an embarrassing public meltdown that involved me bursting into tears in front of the M & M store in Times Square.
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In the past, this kind of emotional turmoil would have sent me face first into a box of donuts or cheap wine (or if we’re being perfectly honest—both), but instead I reached for my phone. I texted Courtney Taylor, a psychic clairvoyant and energy healer—and honestly, it was the best decision I could have made.
Taylor uses a combination of crystal therapy and spirit guides to help shift your energy while she speaks to you on the phone. As Taylor shares, “energy is everything. People underestimate the power of it, but energy work is important in every area of our lives but especially our relationship space.”
During our thirty minute conversation, Taylor walked me through a variety of different visualizations before prescribing two crystals to help rebalance my energy (rose quartz and black tourmaline). I can’t explain exactly how she works her magic, just that I left the conversation feeling lighter.
Unlike in the past where I’d spend months mulling over breakups and romantic disappointments, speaking to an energy healer helped me move forward in a healthy, peaceful way.
If you’re struggling with a break-up (and hoping to avoid literally crying on the shoulder of a human-sized M & M), here’s a few energy healing tips that you can try right now.
Figuratively slam the door in your ex’s face
“People can sense your energy. You don’t want to hover over someone—especially when you’re trying to get them back. One, you’re not doing your personal work. And two, it’s not good for the dynamic of the relationship,” says Taylor.
You need to cut the energy cord. Taylor encourages people to close their eyes and visualize the other person, then imagine slamming a door in their face. If it comes up again, slam the door harder. “People always say to me: that actually works. It feels so vicious but I like it!” says Taylor.
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Write a letter that you never send
Energy shifts happen when you acknowledge feelings and release them. Taylor’s suggestion: write the other person a letter. “I want you to say everything you need to as if you were right in front of this person. Then I want you to re-read the letter as much you can. When it doesn’t feel so painful anymore that’s when you know you’ve made the shift,” she says.
Whether it’s the person who broke your heart or the coworker who keeps stealing your lunch, “this process works for all different kinds of relationships,” she says.
Let the crystals do their work
Crystal therapy is a huge part of energy work. Taylor emboldens people “to go into a metaphysical store, walk around and see what crystals they’re drawn to. Pick it up. Hold it. Feel it.” The crystals we gravitate to often have the properties that we need.
If you’re not sure which crystals would work best for you, “do a self check in and ask yourself: what am I feeling right now? Where does this hurt? And go from there,” says Taylor.
Surround yourself with gentle, protective crystals
When prescribing crystals post-breakup, Taylor says, “I definitely wouldn’t give them a clear quartz or anything too strong, because it would be too much. They need to go towards crystals with lighter, softer vibrations.”
This means embracing crystals like amethyst, moonstone and rose quartz. “Amethyst helps rebalance your energy levels. It’s also really important that we love ourselves. Rose quartz will give you that,” says Taylor.
If replaying the breakup is keeping you up at night, Taylor suggests putting a piece of Selenite near your bed. This high vibration stone settles your energy and helps bring you down when you’re panicked or hyper. Placing a piece of amethyst under your mattress can also help.
Empower yourself with Carnelian
When going through a breakup, “most of the time we’re trying to rebalance ourselves and get our feet on the ground,” says Taylor. Carnelian can help with this. “It gives you an energy boost and that feeling like you’re invincible,” says Taylor. So, if you’re working up the nerve to return that box of stuff that your ex left at your apartment, Taylor explains, “carnelian is a stone that will give you courage and motivation.”
Have faith in the process
Lastly, trust that the universe has your back. “People are sometimes scared to cut energy cords because they don’t want it to mean that they can’t get the other person back,” says Taylor. But you need to put yourself first. “We are shifting your energy for you. You’re always going to be in the place that you need to be,” Taylor says. —By Simone Paget
Simone Paget is a freelance writer based on the West Coast of Canada. She’s a nationally syndicated sex and relationship columnist for the Toronto Sun and the author of the blog SkinnyDip.ca. Her work has appeared in/on publications such as the Washington Post, Elle Canada, Food Network, Reader’s Digest Best Health and The Toronto Star.
Image: @JenaeMichele via Twenty20