Twin Flame vs. Soulmate—What's the Difference?

By Per Erik Borja

On July 7, 2021

In Astrology, Love

Twin Flame vs. Soulmate—What's the Difference?

“But you don’t understand! He’s my soulmate! He’s the one!”

Soulmates, kindred spirits, life partner, twin flame, whatever you want to call it… I’m sure you’ve heard this line from a friend before—or maybe you yourself have been guilty of this proclamation.

But is there just one true soulmate for us? And what is this twin flame everyone keeps talking about?

What Does ‘Soulmate’ Really Mean?

The purpose of a soulmate relationship is to facilitate personal growth. A soulmate changes your life, whether through love and kindness or through pain and trauma. A soulmate changes who you are and brings you closer to your authentic self—whether they are consciously aware of it or not.

Soulmates are those we have contracted to have relationships within this physical incarnation. Before coming into this plane, we chose to learn specific lessons from specific people. We may have shared past lives with these souls, or we may have met them in the spirit world but are meeting them for the first time in the physical world. That is why there is a feeling of having known them before.

Courtesy of @broken_isnt_bad

Soulmate Connections Don’t Always Mean Love

Contrary to popular belief, a soulmate relationship does not have to be romantic, though it can be. A soulmate can be a family member, a friend, a coworker, or sometimes even a stranger on the street that says just the right (or wrong) thing and shifts your life. We have many soulmates in this lifetime, and through our personal choices, we may gravitate toward specific soulmates and navigate away from others. Though you have contracted to form relationships with specific souls, you do not have to meet all of them—and a soulmate does not have to be in our lives forever.

Your best friend in middle school who you haven’t spoken to in 20 years was your soulmate. You found each other to help each other tread the difficult and precarious waters of adolescence. But then you grew apart, you became different people. Now you have a different circle of friends, some of which could be your soulmate, and you will be in each others’ lives to help each other in a different way, to learn different lessons, and to move each other to the next chapter.

Your first love, who you thought surely was “the one,” was also your soulmate—even if they left you broken-hearted. You learned incredibly valuable, and most likely painful, lessons about love, romance, selflessness, and forgiveness.

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Signs You’ve Found a Soulmate

Simply put, soulmates are in your life to teach you important lessons. Perhaps they were abusive, and so you learned how to stand up for yourself and understood what you won’t put up with. Perhaps they were too kind and submissive, so you learned how you took advantage of them and took them for granted. Whatever the lesson, you were fated to learn it, so you can have the knowledge you need for your next romantic soulmate relationship.

A soulmate relationship does not have to end—you can be friends or romantic partners forever, but only if you continue to grow together and learn lessons together. If you and your romantic partner continue your relationship for the rest of your life, then you make an energetic and soul decision to not meet the other romantic partners because you want to focus on this one; it has to be a decision made by both parties.

However, know that if the relationship does end, there is absolutely another soulmate that you can link up with. You are not meant to be with a specific romantic partner forever, that is a choice you make.

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So, What’s a Twin Flame Then?

The purpose of a twin flame relationship is to bring you and another soul into wholeness. Your soul, your energetic signature, is one in the spirit world, but sometimes it will split into two, and reincarnate into two physical bodies. Your twin flame can meet you in this lifetime, or your twin flame may decide to stay in the spirit world and interact with you energetically. Whereas we have many soulmates, we have only one twin flame. This does not mean that you are incomplete without your twin flame, or that if you don’t meet your twin flame in this lifetime it is all for waste. A twin flame relationship is merely one of many paths to bring you into spiritual oneness.

“It was because they were two parts of a whole. He did not belong to her. And she did not belong to him. It was never about belonging to someone. It was about belonging together.”
~ Renee Ahdieh, The Rose & the Dagger

Signs You’ve Found Your Twin Flame

You will have a psychic connection to your twin flame. You will be highly sensitive to each others’ energies, and you may frequently know what the other is thinking or feeling without saying a word. You may have even dreamt of your twin flame before meeting.

holding hands moon

Courtesy of @broken_isnt_bad

A twin flame relationship—usually romantic—carries the same energy as The Tower in Tarot. This incredibly powerful meeting may be sweet, magical, and dreamlike at first, but it will evolve into a crash course of spiritual enlightenment. This person, this relationship, will mirror back to you aspects of yourself you must heal. Your fears, your insecurities, your judgments, your issues with true intimacy, anything holding you back from being your true divine self will be placed front and center for you to face. You will also mirror to your partner the parts of themselves they must heal.

This can be highly charged—and highly uncomfortable. One twin flame may run, in response to not wanting to deal with their issues; they may find it easier to part ways than to do the work. A twin flame relationship is only volatile and destructive if one or both partners refuse to grow and address the ways they are not living authentically.

A twin flame relationship can be deeply satisfying, as long as you both hold the intention of true growth. You can come to a balanced, romantic, and joyful relationship with your twin flame only after you’ve come to understand what you need to do to become more whole individually. If you are brave enough to face the depths and weather the storm, you will find peace and fulfillment in your twin flame relationship. Again, they will act as your mirror, and you theirs. Your lessons will be about you and only you, their lessons about them and only them.

When Will I Meet My Soulmate or Twin Flame?

You do not have to “try” to meet your soulmate or your twin flame. As you focus on your physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual evolution, your soul—and theirs—will decide if your union will serve the highest good for all involved.

Lead photo courtesy of Broken Isn’t Bad // @broken_isnt_bad

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