5 Reasons Why Your Dreams Aren't Coming True
Shannon Kaiser is a wellness writer, life coach, and speaker and is the author of The Self Love Experiment.
The thoughts we have are important. They are powerful and they are preemptive. The thoughts running through your mind can help to manifest the life of your dreams or put you smack-dab in the middle of living some of your greatest fears. But most people don’t realize the inherent power of their thoughts. We are so used to living our daily lives, we get busy just going about our day, and we forget to focus our intentions on what we want. Whatever we think about or focus our energy on consistently, we will manifest. So focus on want you want to get what you want, rather than putting your energy towards what you don’t want.
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At the fundamental level, thoughts are energy. They move across the synapses in our brains, jumping from one neuron to another, moving from one cluster to the next at lightning-fast speed. It’s an instantaneous process. Like everything that is energy, there is a force behind it. Focusing your thoughts will help you live a more balanced life. Instead of the world happening to you, you will feel more empowered and see that everything is happening for you.
One of the easiest ways to clear up your thoughts is to get honest with yourself about the stories you’ve been living in. Stories are the beliefs, habits, and patterns we fall into because they are what we are taught and what is comfortable. A story can feel real, but most often it is created from fear and doesn't hold any truth.
In doing research for my next book and working with clients all around the world in my coaching practice, I’ve identified the top stories that hold us back and how to transform them.
#1: We Need To Feel Good All the Time
So many of us feel like something is wrong if we aren’t happy. The pursuit of happiness can make us feel less than when we don’t live up to its impossible standard.
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If you believe you should be happy all the time, then when you don’t feel great, you feel like a failure. This story is an impossible standard to hold up to because the truth is, life can be beautiful in all phases. When you are sad and frustrated, these are valid emotions to feel. It is part of living a well-balanced life. So instead of trying to be happy all the time, focus on being present. When you can appreciate this, you will move through life more freely.
#2: It’s Selfish To Go After What We Want
The number one regret of the dying is, “I wish I had led a life more true to myself instead of what others wanted for me.” In knowing this story, it’s important to take steps now to be more true to yourself. So many of us feel it is selfish to go for what we want; meanwhile, we stay stuck, unhappy and miserable.
By actively pursuing your dreams, you not only lift up yourself, but you help lift up the entire world. The reason? Because it is one less person hurting, one less person in pain. You owe it to yourself and the world to find your happy.
#3: We’ll Be Happy When . . .
Life may be okay for now, but if you believe it could be so much better when you get the new car, lose the weight, get out of debt, get a new position, meet your soul mate, then you are stuck.
So many of us think when we get to the next level or an unrealistic goal of our life, then we will be happy. This story is a clever trick your ego plays on you to keep you safe and small. But your life doesn't begin when something you think you want happens. It is happening right now.
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Focus on the journey and all the amazing things in your life today. It’s nice to have goals, but wanting your goals to be a reality over what enjoying how you are currently living will always keep you stuck. Instead, celebrate your life today and be happy you are working toward more fulfillment.
#4: We Pretend Things Are Better Than They Actually Are
There is a lot of pressure in our culture to feel better and be strong. With the digital age, photo manipulation and many fake inflated social media accounts, if we spend too much time looking outside of ourselves, we will feel the unattainable pressure.
We pretend to be good; we put a smile on our face; we overbuy, overshare, overeat, all to fit in. Meanwhile, we are hurting inside, we are lonely, and we crave a deeper connection. Instead of pretending that things are okay, be honest with yourself and share your true self. By being more true to yourself, you will feel better.
# 5: Giving Up Means Failure
In my retreats and workshops, people ask me what the difference is between giving up and failing. Most of us think that giving up is a failure, so we hold on to situations, people, expenses, beliefs and habits that don’t serve us anymore. Believing that giving up is a bad thing is one habit that may be preventing you from feeling better.
Instead, shift your perception to see that we are always changing and growing. And often we outgrow what we once needed to grow into. You no longer need to be in the position, or with the person, or in the situation that is hurting your soul. Instead, give yourself the permission to move on and let go. When you do, something more beautiful can emerge in its place. —By Shannon Kaiser
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