You might be wasting time analyzing what someone says to you to determine their feelings. A very small percentage of interpersonal communication occurs through words. It’s been reported that over 90 percent of what we “say” to each other is non-verbal. So, no matter what someone tells you, some believe that the only way to get to the truth – the whole truth – is by turning off your ears (and your heart) and watching for they’re not saying.
The science of body language is relatively new and extremely complicated, but there are certain signals even an amateur can learn to spot. Check out just a few of the basics below, then try them out with the people you interact with your friends – people you know well enough and trust, with whom you can match true words and feelings. Once you’ve got them down, you can use them on your crush or partner!
Let’s start at the top with facial expressions, an extremely good way to tell whether or not someone is being honest with you. Look at their eyes. If you notice them glancing frequently at a spot just past your ear during a conversation, it’s time to change the subject, or prepare to lose your audience. A wandering gaze often indicates boredom.
On the other hand, while it’s true that someone looking intently into your eyes while you’re talking can suggest an intimate connection being formed, someone who’s a bit too fixed on your face may be trying to figure out what you really mean. They might be looking for a hidden agenda.
Of course, nothing beats raised eyebrows to communicate disbelief, and covering the eyes with dark glasses, especially while indoors, is interpreted as a sign of either distress or dishonesty.
Looking to the left while answering a question is another sign that someone may be making it up as they go, if not outright lying to you. Looking to the right is a much better bet. It means they’re trying to remember something by visualizing it – by replaying it in their mind.
When it comes to smiles, the jury seems to be out. A frozen grin is creepy and often means someone’s attitude is equally rigid, but frequent smiles, especially when appropriate to the conversation, show that your audience is engaged.
The rest of the body tells an equally interesting story. Someone who wants to gain control of a situation will try to be the last person through the door. While in a discussion, if their audience suddenly goes silent, that’s usually a bad sign – people are resisting, bored, or maybe even hostile. If their arms are on their hips or crossed, this is likely the case.
Arms folded across the chest often means someone is feeling defensive or trying to guard themselves. They might even be angry. Whether or not they’ll blow involves a medley of other factors, but if there’s any toe-tapping involved, there’s an internal countdown going on. Get going before blastoff.
Someone who frequently touches their hair or ear when talking to someone else often indicates that they are interested. Touching them frequently while they’re talking is a good sign of sexual interest.
This next tip is easy, and fun to watch. Next time you’re chatting with someone, check out their legs. If they’re crossed in your direction, they’re into you, big time. Watch the corners of their mouth to tell whether it’s what you’re saying that’s so fascinating (their mouth will be straight), or if what they’re really interested in is you (the corners should be upturned, or even smiling).
Finally, if someone is genuinely telling the truth and wants to earn your trust, everything, including their eyes, will point the same way. Be sure to look for this one the next time you’re entrusting someone with help in an important decision.