Are you one of those people who immediately asks your crush his or her birth date? Then, you Google to find his or her sun sign, moon sign, and chew on your fingernails as you stare at both your charts, hoping the stars are leaning in the direction of true love? I am! Okay, usually I'm a little bit more stealthy—it’s not like I’ll bring up sign compatibility within the first five minutes of meeting—but as someone who has track records with certain signs, I hold my breath until I know what sign I'm going on a date with. Because if I know I’m going on a date with an Aquarius man, I can look back at the six Aquarius men from the past two years that I’ve dated and take a moment to pause and be real with what I can expect. It's like anything in life—you live, you learn!
But is this BS or real-deal important info? Could we (I) possibly be judging too much or stereotyping our dates when we consider their zodiac sign? Maybe. But I say, better safe than sorry. Getting to know your potential lover’s sign can help protect your heart. But first, you’ve gotta start by educating yourself on what signals your own sign is sending—both in terms of how you interact in friendships and romance.
For example, my friend Gala Darling is a Virgo sun and I am her opposite: Pisces sun. Because Virgos are detail oriented as hell and the best at getting shit done, and Pisces are not, she helped me hire a Virgo assistant who has changed my life!
My friend Ruby Warrington is a Cancer moon and I'm an Aquarius moon so I know maybe I can over analyze feelings with her (Aquarius = air element = lots of mind activity!) and Cancer is water so she may be more sensitive when it comes to feelings, or she'll go in a shell. But since I'm a Pisces sun I'm still super sensitive too.
Little by little if you use the people in your life right now as examples, you'll get a feel of who balances you, who inspires you, who you're hot for...it's all looking at patterns and investigating!
Personally, I don’t think it’s enough to just know your sun sign. The trio of vibes found between sun, moon, and rising can help explain what makes you you—and teach you who you’re attracting. For instance, say you're a Scorpio sun but a Capricorn rising (Rising is how your personality presents in the world.) Say you've been living a very Capricorn life: practical, loyal, great with business. But you haven't been letting your Scorpio out. Well, you may find you start attracting Scorpio people to help you find a way to unleash yours.
You can see your signs—your rising (how your personality presents to the world) your moon (your subconscious and emotions) and your sun (the way you see yourself and your main sign). Then when you attract someone you can see how their signs interact with yours and what they may be bringing out in you, or teaching you. Also essential? Learning what sign your Venus lands in—it will teach you a lot about how you love! For example, mine is in Aqaurius, which is why I’m attracting so many Aquarians!
But in general, I look to my trifecta of signs for guidance. As a Pisces sun, Gemini rising, Aquarius moon, I've attracted fellow water and air signs forever. But I know by now that Paula Abdul's 1990 hit “Opposites Attract” was called that for a reason. Also, I’ve watched magnets work. You need something to balance the energy. If you're an emotional watery sign and you attract another, there's a good possibility you'll drown in a pool of tears and sad poetry together. So in general, a good rule: an air sign with an earth. A fire with a water.
But of course, there are exceptions! Now for John (Libra) and Yoko (Aquarius), being in an air bubble worked! And water-on-water looks awesome for Ryan Gosling (Scorpio) and Eva Mendes (Pisces)!
That's why you have to look at the full picture. You can’t exclusively judge sun sign to sun sign. Because, who knows? That Cancer sun sign may be the earthy Taurus rising you are searching for!
So as much as the Aquarius men I've met and dated in the past year have driven me bananas with their spacious, drifter, big picture, non-committal vibes, I can't say I've sworn them off forever. Same with Water sign folks. I'll always love the sensitive and artistic depth I've gotten from my water on water relationships, even when they've felt a little dramatic and emo. After all, there's a reason we are drawn to certain signs. Sometimes it's a quality we seek in ourselves.
Bottom line: Yes, signs matter, but just the way anything matters when you begin a relationship: Is he a dog person? Does she love the gym? Do you have the same Instagram aesthetic? They're all clues you could be compatible, but it's never absolute. So do your homework, but also go with your gut—and your heart.
Photo by Matheus Ferrero.