They say that “time heals all wounds.” But exactly how much time is needed? In our culture, grieving people are expected to return to work and regular life almost immediately. And even if time really is the ultimate healer, what are you supposed to do while you wait?
Astrology is not only a useful tool for determining how long it may take you to grieve, but also for understanding your own personal grieving process.
First, understand the many faces of grief. Grief can come as a result of any type of loss. Thus, if you’ve recently experienced the death of a loved one, the ending of a romantic relationship, or the loss of a job, you’re experiencing at least one major type of grief.
Examining your natal chart can first help you understand how grief happens with you. You may also be able to notice times in your life that may be most affected by grief’s difficult emotions, such as your Saturn return.
A teacher once told me that a Saturn return is like being run over by a car, which then backs up and runs over you again! During your Saturn return, which happens between the ages of 27 and 30 and again between 58 and 60, you go through a time when you may have many life upheavals as you restructure yourself. It can include significant losses such as divorce, job changes, and health problems.
When consulting a qualified astrologer, pay special attention to what planets are in your Eighth House, the house of reincarnation. Depending on what is in this house, one person may have very different attitudes about death than another, and these planets govern much of the transformation of the self that occurs during the grieving process. The presence of Mars, for example, may indicate the prominence of feelings of anger after a significant loss. Of course, anger is a natural stage in the grief process – but some experience more than others.
You can also use astrology day by day with an ephemeris to see how the planets are affecting your grieving stages. The first of the five stages of grief is denial. What is happening day to day with Uranus and the Moon will have an impact on how you go through this stage. The Moon, though allowing you to be emotional enough to shed tears, may also increase the sort of lunacy that gives false hope. Uranus can influence how you react initially to shocking news, as well as how it is delivered to you.
Once you move into the anger stage of grief, Mars’ influence takes control. Mars can make you lash out at others some days, and constructively put your rage into physical activity on others.
Once you get to the bargaining stage of grief, Mercury is at center stage as you try to use words to sooth yourself and make a deal with a higher being or power. Jupiter may be an influence here as well, as it can represent the powers with authority with which you would love to make peace.
Sinking into depression can result from the effects of many planets, including the dark and destructive side of Saturn, the life disruption side of Pluto, and even the substance abuse escape attempts brought on by Neptune.