If you’re like most people who are single, you are dreading the questions and pity-gazes associated with holiday socializing. What do you do or say? If you have to put up, get them to shut up. This handy guide reveals tips for your Sun Sign.
Aries: Your family know better than to comment on the fact that you are still “alone.” You can use this to your advantage by threatening to throw a tantrum every time someone mentions dating or settling down. Steer the conversation in another direction entirely by focusing on other family members and their issues. When all other company fails, hang out with the family pet for sensible, kind companionship.
Taurus: You aren’t relishing the idea of being interrogated about your love life – or lack of it. You would rather be at home eating take-out and watching a movie. If that’s not an option, you can play to their sympathies by asking them to do your small favors, especially those that involve food. Smile sweetly but stay silent – eventually they will leave you alone.
Gemini: Dazzle them with your wit and pithy comments. Don’t let anyone get a word in edgeways, especially if the subject turns to romance. Pretend you misheard and then suggest you all play a board game that requires everyone’s intellectual attention. The trick is not to allow too many long lapses in the conversation. Keep minds occupied with more important matters.
Cancer: You can do your usual trick of clamming up and refusing to talk about anything personal. Try speaking in monosyllables if you are really pushed. Relative: “Honey, are you dating?” You: “Nope!” Relative: “Do you want me to fix you up?” You: “Nope!” Pretty soon they will realize their efforts are futile and unwelcome.
Leo: If you want peace and quiet over the holidays with no pesky relatives asking about your love life, you may have to pretend. Apologize at dinner for the absence of your sweetheart, and let everyone know how much he or she was looking forward to meeting everyone. Make full use of colorful images and dramatic gestures.
Virgo: If your family and friends are wondering why you don’t have a significant other, you can fend off any awkward questions by telling them you aren’t feeling well. From this point on, turn the talk over to a blow-by-blow account of your bodily ailments and don’t spare them any details. They will soon leave you alone.
Libra: Divert those awkward questions about your current non-relationship by wearing a spectacular pair or earrings, sparkling broach, odd socks, and whacky shoes. Highlight piercings or your latest tattoo. The conversation will center on your favorite subjects – image and personal agendas. Juggle a few olives at the same time, and all mention of romance will be forgotten – sort of!
Scorpio: Your friends and family may not believe you, even if you do tell them you’re currently single. They know you too well – or so they think. They will probably come up with a suitable theory. Something like your partner is in rehab, on a Buddhist retreat, half way up a mountain on a self-awareness break. Or an embarrassing freak you don’t want anyone to meet!
Sagittarius: You aren’t the kind to beat around the bush. If you are single you will tell everyone and won’t bat an eyelid. What does your romantic status have to do with them, anyway? If your family continues to question you and tries to extract information on when you might get hitched, your reply is likely to be equally blunt. They won’t be under any illusions!
Capricorn: You can keep most nosy questions at bay by telling everyone you are far too busy to be dating. As you are very ambitious they won’t be surprised when you tell that you are masterminding a corporate takeover, directing a film with Steven Spielberg, or in training for the next planned mission to Mars. The straighter your face the more they’ll believe.
Aquarius: Your family knows you by now, and they also know that you aren’t as bothered about being in a relationship as much as others might be. The big surprise for them would be if you told them you were about to get married. That would really freak them out, especially if you won’t introduce your “beloved.” So, you don’t really have to worry – just be yourself in all your glory!
Pisces: You are known for your ability to bend the truth, so you can say what you like. Fabricate a thousand and one reasons why you don’t have a lover, and your family may be none the wiser – and will probably stop asking about it. But if they should become persistent you can always try bursting into tears. They will withdraw in horror and that will be that.