Avoid These Love Traps
It is always easier to notice other people’s blind spots, but when it comes to our own we need some help. We may coast along for a time, perhaps years, thinking that our relationship is going great, when suddenly our lover walks out on us, or decides to tell it like it is. We are shocked to the core and left wondering what we could have done to make things better.
Astrology and knowledge of our charts is a wonderful tool for helping to find and work on our blind spots. We need to become aware of those areas in which we were all too blissfully unaware. It also helps to uncover the blind spots in the relationship itself.
The natal chart gives us an easy way to find out what our shadow side looks like. It helps to turn the chart upside down so that the Descendent becomes the Ascendant and vice versa. So if someone has a Cancer Ascendant they will have Capricorn on the Descendant. Reversing the chart means they now have a Capricorn Ascendant, which immediately shows the possibility that they may be repressing their own authority and refusing to be a father figure to themselves. The upshot is that they then choose as mates or partners those who will act as parental figures and tell them what to do. Inevitably they will resent this until they learn to take control of their lives rather than allowing others to do this for them.
Using this method we can also learn from reading the whole ‘upside down’ chart as if it was our chart.
This method works because of the phenomenon of ‘projection.’ This has a lot in common with the projector used at the cinema and the image on the screen. The audience is engrossed in the movie and forget that it is there because of the projector. The same is true of people. We are so engrossed in the movie of our life that we forget that it is our own thoughts, feelings, and strongly held beliefs projected on the screen of time and space that create our circumstances – which include our relationships.
The way we think about our lover often dictates the way they behave toward us. Yet it is more complicated than that. Our lover may be an actor in one of our story lines in which we play the part of victim of love, the destroyer of love, the eternal seducer and many other variations.
In order to uncover our blind spots we need to dig deep within and locate the stories and archetypes that shape our love lives. We need to notice what archetype or archetypes we are acting out in our relationships and to observe moment by moment, especially when things get difficult what is going on within us. Clarity brings understanding and as a result healing.
We also have to be honest with ourselves, or if this is impossible, ask someone we trust implicitly to tell us the truth about ourselves. Astrology and the astrological chart will reveal the main story lines that we are likely to adopt in our intimate relationships, so an in depth knowledge of the chart will yield many secrets and many ah-ha moments.
In order to overcome these blind spots we need to create new possible futures and potentials for our relationship and begin to live from these rather than from our old stories. We detach from the victim state into the creative state. We can then decide how we want things to pan out, and through focus and the ability to nurture our relationships along the right lines we can find inner peace and happiness.