Why Vampires Are Sexy
Lately, vampires have taken over best seller lists, the box office, and the TV lineup. What’s the appeal of these bloodless immortals? In a word: sex! Vampires have been captivating audiences for years, and it looks like their particular brand of charm has reached a fever pitch.
If you’re wondering what’s behind all the hype, here’s a point-by-point list outlining their most attractive qualities. When you consider the evidence, it’s no wonder vampires are in such great demand!
Their Love is Eternal
At a time when two out of three marriages end in divorce, the prospect of eternal love is attractive indeed. Courtly vampires like Twilight’s Edward Cullen are looking for a life partner, not just a roll in the hay. For such a cold customer, he’s certainly a hot commodity on the romance market.
Their Hunger is Insatiable
In their perpetual quest for blood, vampires have mastered the art of finding food. Brute force is one way of grabbing a meal, but the preferred method seems to be seduction. An Interview with a Vampire’s Lestat had his technique honed to a diamond-like brilliance… much to the delight of his victims.
Their Manners Are Impeccable
Most vampires have been around for centuries, when social conventions were strict and stratified. Their courtly manners prove a refreshing alternative to 21st century informalities. Because when it comes to romance, wouldn’t you prefer a lingering kiss on the hand from True Blood’s Bill Compten to a quick text message from some random player?
Their Urge is to Merge
Vampires draw life force by inserting themselves into the bodies of their victims… what could be sexier than that? And while the results are horrific, the initial contact feels ecstatic, judging by the reactions of Miriam Blaylock’s victims in The Hunger.
They Leave Their Mark
Vampires have a protective attitude toward their victims, often leaving a mark of ownership on their bodies. Whether it’s a puncture wound to the neck or a distinctive birthmark, like in Elizabeth Kostova’s The Historian, this tribe seeks to mark its territory. It’s both stalkerish and sweet.
They’ve Got Style
Thanks to their immortality, vampires have plenty of time to develop fashion sense. Their penchant for plunging necklines, form-fitting clothes, lush fabrics, and eye-catching jewelry automatically sets them apart from the jeans-and-baseball cap crowd. Witness Damon Salvatore’s black leather hotness in The Vampire Diaries.
They Break the Rules
Vampires don’t get caught up in conventional morality – after all, they feed off blood. Therefore, they’re utterly unpredictable, which is a great thing on the sexual front. Poppy Z. Brite’s Lost Souls is jam-packed with vampires that are eager to explore both the male and female aspects of their sexuality… Proposition 8 be damned.
They Don’t Need Botox
If the books and movies are to be believed, blood is the ultimate beauty aid. Although vampires are immortal, they never show their age. A prime example is the exquisite Akasha in Queen of the Damned. Her liquid lunches yield results that are the envy of every plastic surgeon.
Face it: vampires aren’t flakes. Like the character Selene in Underworld, they’ll pursue their target to the end of the Earth. That’s an incredibly reassuring trait in a world where courtship largely consists of waiting for e-mails, texts, and voicemails. Once a vampire sets their sights on you, it’s certain you’ll be seeing them again. It’s just a matter of time.