My first exposure to magic was when I attempted to cast love spells on thoroughly undeserving teenage boys. They were gangly and awkward, but their appeal was beyond description. We would talk on the phone all night; and in typical teenage-boy fashion, they prattled on, totally unaware of my amorous heart.
Despite my best efforts, the love spells never worked. And when, a couple of years later, I began dating my first serious boyfriend, I traded my obsession with magic for an obsession with men. How did they work? What did they want? They were endlessly fascinating to me, and still are. Truthfully, I've been trying to figure men out ever since.
Over a decade later, I found myself at a low point, in a crumbling marriage. Again, I turned to magic—and the friendship of women—for solace. I needed so desperately to regain a sense of control in my life, to know that this mistake I had made could be fixed. Every month, I joined a group of women in a New York apartment, where we would sit on the floor, chant, meditate, pull tarot cards, and get clear about our intentions. It was in those circles that I learned how to reclaim my power, how to send my energy out into the universe, and—most importantly—I was reminded that no one decision can ruin you.
I went to an astrology retreat in Tulum, hoping for a sign. I got what I asked for. Almost every woman there had been divorced... and was thriving. When I got back to New York, I told my husband it was over. He moved out two weeks later, and my life was mine again.
Ever since, I've been writing and speaking about my life-changing experiences with magic, spirituality, and what I call Radical Self Love. I’m determined to help as many women as possible extract themselves from the grips of sadness and self-doubt. It is my life's work, and I cannot think of a more valuable way to spend my time.
What is Radical Self Love? As Horoscope.com’s new Spirit Goddess, I’ll be telling you a lot about this incredible practice in the coming months, but here’s a teaser: Radical Self Love is a personal process in which you examine your thoughts and behavior and relentlessly toss anything that is hindering you from being your best, must salubrious self. Here’s what the process looks like for me:
1. Admit what isn’t working. What keeps you up at night? What makes you tense? Make a list. Be radically honest! When we get real with ourselves about the things that bring us pain, we have the power to reclaim them.
2. Know where you want to go next. Look around for people who are doing outlandish, creative, wonderful things—and ask yourself: How could I do that, and put my own magic on it?
3. Act your way into it. The magic really occurs when you get out of your head and into your body. “Put your money where your mouth is,” so to speak.
4. Rinse and repeat. You have to keep noticing what sucks, keep thinking about where you want to go next, and keep acting. The process is never over.
I believe that when we know ourselves and can be honest about what we want, everything in our life magically blossoms. And deepening that connection to ourselves is one of the most spiritual experiences we can have.
I'm so excited to be joining Horoscope.com as your Spirit Goddess. I have so many fun adventures to tell you about, things for you to try, and stories to share. This is going to be fabulous! See you here next week, and every Monday.