Star Crossed Love: Ditch the List and Find the One!
Ever feel like you need magic to find the one? We hear you. Luckily, magic is all around, and you can find it to help lead you to lasting, soulmate style love. In our latest column, Star Crossed Love, Shereen Campbell, an astrologer, intuitive, crystal expert and woman who manifested her own relationship (read her inspiring story here!) will share spells, crystal rituals, and astrology tips to help you find—and keep—the one. After all, love is magic. Use magic to attact it in your life! — Horoscope.com editors
I am a HUGE fan of lists. To Do Lists, Wish Lists, Manifestation Lists, Affirmation Lists, #hashtagsilove lists, Random Idea Lists. if it’s a list, believe me, I have some version or another of it. However, there is one list I now refuse to keep. This is the one list I gave up having a long time ago. It is sometimes appropriately called, “the list.”For all my single ladies out there, you know exactly what list I’m referring to. This is the list you made for the first time back when you discovered boys existed. You and all your gal pals would recite, edit and perfect this list, decorating it’s edges with hearts and scribbles at your sleepovers. Your BFF would not only know every single item of the list but would be able to spot if a potential cutie would make the cut. The list was simple, full of attributes you wanted: hot, tall, cool, smart but not nerdy, plays sports, has a car. Rings a bell, right?
Then you grew up, and the list shifted. If your list is anything like mine was, here are some items: Went to a good school, cute, good body, is nice to his family, has a career, can cook, wants a relationship, good in bed, etc’. For a bit, I happily checked off things on the list and quietly noted what was missing, eventually dismissing whomever did not meet my requirements. Marriage is a big deal, so why settle for anything less than your standards?
But here’s the thing. As I rejected more and more guys, I started to see my friends finding themselves in happy relationships and I was not, no matter how much I stuck to my list. Even more interesting was that they often ended up with folks that were a bit outside of their original expectations…
Crisis alert! And then I realized, who am I to request someone without ‘flaws’ when I have plenty? I would feel horrible if I discovered someone I was getting to know kept a list of things he wanted in his future partner, and some stupid flaw, like not making a certain amount of money or knowing how to cook a certain dessert meant that I didn’t make the cut!
Listen, this is not to say that you should date people that treat you badly. But it is about giving up the idea of the “perfect” partner. He or she doesn’t exist!
And that may be the point. At the end of the day, I was scared of picking the wrong person. So I made it impossible to pick any person.
Second, I was ignoring people who were right in front of me. What if the universe already knew the right man for me? What if he complemented, accepted, and loved my quirks? What if I was pushing him away? I had put myself in such a tight, judgmental, narrow box!
How did I break this habit? I made a new the list . This list was all about the relationship I wanted. It includes things like how we communicate with each other, hobbies or interests I would love if we shared, places I want to visit with my partner one day. This list is much more fun and is less limiting. Plus, I’m totally not embarrassed to share it.
So, f**k the list and replace it with a list of what your dream relationship looks like. Focus less on the person of your dreams and more on the type of relationship that will bring you closer to your highest and more magical self.
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Shereen Campbell is an astrologer, ecommerce manager, and the founder of My Little Magic Shop. She loves sailing, southern Italian food, and all things magical.
Add more ritual to your everyday life with Shereen Campbell’s magic-inspired tips!
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