The moon has begun its waning process—from beautiful, juicy fullness to inky, mysterious invisibility. And why, oh why, is that so important to note? Because as the moon wanes, it's a perfect time to reflect, regroup, and reimagine your life—including your sex life! One way to connect with what you yearn for is through ritual. I'd like to show you a ritual around inhibition. 'Cause guess what? Everything that you know about sex has been taught to you and conditioned into you, and it's time for you to reclaim your own sexual story and free yourself from any old sh*t people told you. Like, how you are supposed to sound, what you're supposed to wear, how you are supposed to react, what is proper, what is improper.... As long as you aren't hurting yourself or anyone else, then guess what? You can do it all!
You wanna make love while singing Disney Tunes and wearing a tutu? DO IT.
You wanna go to play parties? DO IT.
You wanna be unafraid to wear that tight slinky black dress to a date? DO IT.
Why not? Why not have the most fun possible with your human experience? Are you going to let other people's archaic views and ideas dictate how YOU are YOU? How you kiss? How you make love? How you flirt?
NAH, YOU'RE SMARTER THAN THAT.
So, let’s free you.
Here's your waning moon rose ritual for better sex:
1. Put on your fave dark and juicy album. FKA twigs. Death metal. Nine Inch Nails. Whatever feels really deep and juicy to you.
2. Light a candle, and place a single dark-colored rose or other favorite flower in water. Keep this rose near you throughout the process to remind you that you are one with the natural world—your sexual desires are as natural and beautiful as that flower.
3. Get some paper and a pencil.
4. Start by writing a list of your beliefs and conditions around sex.
Stuck? Here are two of mine, which I will share with you and not be embarrassed about:
“I believe I am supposed to have a waxed bikini area in order for men to find me sexy or want to engage with me sexually.”
“I believe I am supposed to have big breasts in order to feel sexy.”
Wah wah. Though I believe I am quite sexually empowered, I am human and still have my own battles—and I did grew up in the USA! So, those two beliefs are ones I want to rid myself of! Make your list so real. So deep. Admit things like, ”I think I am only sexy if I don’t have BO,” or whatever other "conditions" that have kept you from experiencing sexual pleasure in the past.
5. Read these aloud to yourself while looking in the mirror.
6. Then say, “I am willing to let all these conditions and beliefs go right now."
7. Burn the piece of paper in a safe way—like over a pot of water in the kitchen, or whatever.
8. As you burn it, make some noise: cry, grunt, moan, hiss, make demon sounds, get it out of your body! You don't have to let those limiting beliefs inhibit you any longer!
9. Take a shower or bath and let it all flow off of you, or dance in your room alone to some sexy tunes, or make your own solo mosh pit.
10. Fall asleep dreaming of what the New Sexual You can experience, and the unlimited pleasure that is possible for you when you live at peace with your mind, body and spirit!
And stay tuned for a ritual around creating a new sexual story next week, after the new moon!!!
And pretty please let me know how this goes at [email protected]! I'm going to do it too!
A letting go ritual can let you find your best, sexiest, truest self. Trust.
Feature art by Ruben Ireland.
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For more of Alexandra Roxo's racy wisdom, you'll love:
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